Saturday, August 23, 2008

Counting down until Christmas...

So I went to my doctor's appt yesterday and she said the soonest she will induce me is Sept 25th at 37 weeks. So, that is the big day. I made her call and schedule it at the hospital for my own peace of mind. I am totally anxious to get this girl out of me and a month seems like forever!!!!!!!! Most women that have been pregnant know that the last month is the hardest and I just feel like that is nothing compared to how I am feeling. I get nervous when I don't feel her move for awhile and I just want to go to the hospital and have an emergency c-section. But I DO want a healthy baby so I am trying to be patient. The other night I was having a pity party and was feeling sorry for myself. I was reading through a journal entry that I had made shortly after Chelsea died and there was a quote in it by Elder Orson F. Whitney. It reads:
"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable...and it is through toil and tribulation that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in Heaven."
I really liked reading that quote. I think about Chelsea everyday still-many, many times a day. I wonder why I am going through this long nine months of being pregnant and uncomfortable again and why I couldn't just have my baby with me. I miss her so much. Sometimes I wonder why the Lord needed her so badly and how something so hard for me could somehow make me stronger. But, like the quote said, no pain we suffer is wasted. I am trying to be patient and have faith that everything will work out this pregnancy. It has definitely been a trial for me. But at the same time I feel overwhelmed at how this little girl in my belly has been such a blessing. If it wasn't for Chelsea's death I wouldn't be pregnant with a new little spirit. I know there are many women out there that would love to be in my shoes with a little baby on the way. I feel so blessed that we were able to get pregnant so soon and have another baby coming. She has given me lots of hope, peace and happiness again and has helped me get through the past year.
I remember as a kid waiting so anxiously for Christmas to come. The closer it came the farther away it seemed! Christmas Eve was always the longest day of the year because you know that you will be able to open those gifts you have been waiting so long for. I am counting down the days for my own little "Christmas" to come, September 25th. So, I am asking for lots of prayers and good thoughts to be sent my way. Thanks for all your love and support. Ronna

9 comments:

Kelly said...

Ronna, you are something special that's for sure. I'm sure Chelsea is excited for her little sister to come to earth. Good luck, I'm glad you have a date set. I'll be praying for you and the family.

amydear said...

I've been thinking about you a lot, anticipating the birth of your new little girl. I hope you can feel peace and calm as you go through the next few weeks, then joy at her birth. Chelsea is probably right with her, helping her prepare. I will definitely keep you and your family in my prayers. Can't wait for the big announcement!

Annie said...

Despite all you have gone through (going through) you are so optimistic! Wow. Keep going (because really when you are prego what else can you do?!) and our prayers are with you!

Crystal said...

Ronna you are such an amazing lady. I'm so happy I know you. I really enjoyed that quote too. It puts these trials we have into the light. Your sweet little baby will be here soon enough. :)

Kierstin said...

Thank you for this post Ronna. It was inspirational to read, especially the quote. I have been wondering how you have been feeling this past year with all the craziest. I am glad to hear everything is going well and that you have a strong testimony.

We will definitely include you on the next swim trip to my mom's house if you want. It is a three hour drive for us and probably close to the same for you.

We can't wait to hear about your "Christmas morning."

Has Luke started school yet? Asia is on week #2!

Cheri said...

Ronna - what a WONDERFUL quote. That is going to be put up somewhere around my house.

I think of you all the time and you are in my prayers. I will double them for you!

I hope the time flies for you.

love, love, LOVE you!!

Larsen's said...

I was thinking about your little Chelsea a few days ago...she is not forgotten. I don't know how you feel right now...your emotions must be so crazy and complicated. I hope your new baby brings you peace (well, OK, maybe not peace -that probably won't be happening at night when she is awake, LOL!)...but I think you know what I mean! I can't wait either, to meet your new little girl...

Ja and Becky said...

Hey-
First of all congrats- I didn't even know you were expecting a new little one! I am sooo excited for you. I hope you know my thoughts and prayers will be with you. I wish the best of luck. Becky

Emma Lee said...

I love you girl and I love this post. I think about you all the time. Hang in there and we are all waiting to share your special day with you! Lots of Love!

BTW- I love that quote!! It is one of my favorites!